Thicker Than Blood

In loving memory of Suzan’s Big DaddyAn older gay man. He may or may not prefer the company of younger men, but if he does and if he is moneyed, he is likely to be the dominant or top in the relationship. Also, “Leather Daddy.”, Lee Hamrick

Fabulous friends surround us in good times, but true friends are there for you when times get tough.

For me, 2011 started off with a big gay bang, aboard the biggest gay cruiseA term used in verb form to refer to checking out another gay man, perhaps in a sexually predatory way, but primarily characterized by nonverbal signals for sex. Also can be used in noun form to refer to the person being cruised, i.e. “Don’t eyeball my cruise.” Not to be confused with a floating bathhouse of a boat chartered by Atlantis Events (see “gay cruise”).Exclusively gay vacations on chartered cruiseA term used in verb form to refer to checking out another gay man, perhaps in a sexually predatory way, but primarily characterized by nonverbal signals for sex. Also can be used in noun form to refer to the person being cruised, i.e. “Don’t eyeball my cruise.” Not to be confused with a floating bathhouse of a boat chartered by Atlantis Events (see “gay cruise”). ships (Atlantis Events, RSVP) that often feature circuit-style dance parties, weddings, showtunes, and Speedos. in history. I participated in a historic gay pride in the Big Apple, and it was a banner year, with countless causes for mary-ment.

Also along the way came more realness than I care to consider, and (sadly) parties became less of a priority. That’s when I realized that San Framily ties are thicker than blood, and that my chosen familyCode used to describe one’s own gay kind, i.e. “Do you think he’s family?” or “Don’t worry, he’s family.” is my truth.

My beloved gays have always had my back, and I’d like to think I’ve likewise been there for them—for better and for worse, in sickness and in health.

It’s easy to be there for your friends when spirits are high and glitter fills the air. But what means even more is an outpouring of support when the going gets rough, and this year has given me both the yin and the yang, making sure that I maintain proper perspective.

It’s been a year of celebration and recrimination. There’s been love and hate, victory and loss. Freedom has been gained but it’s still under attack, and heroes abound, both locally and globally. I’ve been feeling the weight of this historic time, trying not to lose hope even in the face of heartache.

Harvey Milk sacrificed his life to give us hope, just as Martin Luther King Jr. was a martyr for the cause of hope for a better future. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy,” he said.

The pendulum is swinging back and forth between justice and indignity. We’re living in times of challenge and controversy, and I’ll be the first to admit that loving my gays is quite comfortable and convenient here over the rainbow.

Not so much at the United Nations, where Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton fiercely proclaimed her love for all gays while declaring all-out war against hate worldwide. Her conviction and sincerity were deeply moving, and her speech will undoubtedly be viewed by history as being on equal footing with MLK’s dream of equality for all:

“No practice or tradition trumps the human rights that belong to all of us,” she said. “All people deserve to be treated with dignity and have their human rights respected, no matter who they are or whom they love.”

Like Hillary, I have a dream, and I call it Love My Gays. I’m grateful for the privilege of living my dream and being gay by choice here in San Francisco, among my chosen familyCode used to describe one’s own gay kind, i.e. “Do you think he’s family?” or “Don’t worry, he’s family.”. As a new year dawns, I’m hopeful that Hillary’s dream will one day come true for all and forever. Bring it!

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 8th, 2011 at 12:00 pm. It is filed under Articles, Bring It! and tagged with dignity, Harvey Milk, Hillary Rodham Clinton, human rights, Jr., Martin Luther King, San Framily. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.